


Dream

by HollyWeed



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Angst, F/M, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Nightmares, Post Timeskip, Post canon, Post chapter 128, Sleeping Together, talking things out
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-01
Updated: 2020-06-01
Packaged: 2021-03-03 02:48:27
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,388
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24497446
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HollyWeed/pseuds/HollyWeed
Summary: “A dream... no. Not a dream... a memory.“
Relationships: Armin Arlert/Annie Leonhart
Comments: 6
Kudos: 91





	Dream

**Author's Note:**

> Because there's nothing hotter than two people who love each other having a meaningful conversation.
> 
> Anyway, this is my little headcanon for this ship and my first fic here. Hope you guys like it.

The moon was high in the black sky, surrounded by poetry of familiar stars. It‘s light basks two bodies sleeping together in it‘s light through a small window.

Suddenly one of the figure‘s eyes snapped open and he jolted. In the dark stillness he couldn't see anything except the moonlight glow of the bedside. He was covered in a cold sweat, shaking.

A girl next to him also woke up from the sound. Even she could feel his heart still pounding as he looked around the room suspicious and paranoid that the horror may have followed them here, cautiously shivering.

“Armin?“

Armin could see Annie's mouth moving, but her words were flying past his head. He‘s still shaking. Not out of it yet.

Annie hesitated for a bit, unsure what to do. _This was new._ The girl then started stroking him, almost purely out of instinct. It worked and within a few moments he steadily relaxed.

“Annie?“ Armin breathed. He rubbed his head and eyes, trying to fully awaken. The moon shined bright through the window, washing away the vestiges of the horror, leaving him relieved to return to their mundane existence after the war.

“Bad dream?“ She whispered.

“... yes.“ He admitted biting his lip.

“... do you... you know, want to talk about it?“ She quietly asked darting her eyes around awkwardly. Comforting was still something new to the blond woman and she felt out of her element when trying to support someone this way.

“N-no, it‘s okay. Don‘t worry about it.“ Armin tried to insist, shaking his head.

Annie of course didn't buy it.

“Ok, now you have to tell me.“ She demanded, narrowing her eyes. “What is going on? You can’t sleep until you do.“

Unluckily, Armin didn‘t give in.

”…sorry.”

Annie exaled and fell back on her cushion. “You can‘t avoid this forever, you know.“ She murmured before her eyes gave out and she drifted back to sleep

***

Just as Annie predicted, the same thing happened for more than a couple of days. She was quiet alll those times, trying to be understanding and give him space when he showed dismissal. But now she has had enough. The soft approach clearly wasn‘t working.

“Armin, seriously, we need to talk about these nightmares of yours.“

“Eh? What about it?“ The little shit still pretended everything is totally fine.

“You know damn well what I‘m talking about.“

“... sorry. Does it bother you that much? We could move to separate beds for now until it‘s sorted out.“ Armin tried to argue once again.

“You can‘t sort this out by just ignoring it. Trust me I know.“ Annie tried to console. She put her hand on his shoulder. “Enough of this, Armin. Talk to me. You just had a bad dream again, didn‘t you?

Armin looked down at his own hands.

“A dream... no. Not a dream... a memory.“

_This is how Eren must‘ve felt all those years huh._

“A memory? Bertholdt?“ Annie‘s brows furrowed.

“... yes.“ He admitted shuddering.

Annie let out a sigh. _His very name always brings out a negative response in him._

“Right.“ Armin felt Annie‘s grip tighten. “Was it what you saw or just the fact that you have someone else‘s memories inside your head now?“

“I suppose it‘s both...“ The grieved soldier trailed off.

Annie groaned.

“Look I can only help you if you talk to me.“ She insisted, pursing her lips. “Please.“

“Well, it‘s from when you guys broke Wall Maria.“ Armin began with a slight tremble. “Bertholdt stood before it, then transformed and peered over the wall. It‘s the sight that came from it. I saw... everything. The old buildings, all these people I knew and saw every day that didn‘t make it. I saw us. Me, Eren and Mikasa just standing there, not knowing what was about to happen.“

Annie stayed quiet still keeping her hand on his shoulder, wondering whether she should add something or not.

“I don‘t know how to explain it, but that sight... it‘s so horrifying to me. I was completely transformed to that time. Did you experience anything like that?“

“The previous generation of warriors didn‘t participate in wars or went on special missions like us." The ex-warrior answered solemnly. “I do have nightmares, but with... different things.“

“...I see.“

“I‘ll tell you about them and how I try to cope with it, but first, please, tell me everything.“ Her tone was getting desperate.

“You know you don‘t have to do what you don‘t want to do. Don‘t feel pressured please.“ Armin cautioned darting his eyes to the ground. Annie let go of his shoulder to brush his hair gently.

“I mean it.“

Armin exaled.

“Okay. But... that‘s about the extent my nightmares went now though. You know, besides Liberio and what we had to do to Eren.“ The last sentence was barely a whisper.

“And is this the only thing bothering you? The only thing that holds you back from being truly happy? You just told me it‘s both the memories, Eren AND the fact that you had someone else‘s memories inside your head. Now spill.“ The finality in her voice left no room for arguments.

He relented.

“A few months ago. Me and Mikasa had a brawl with Eren.“

Annie tensed. Eren was still a touchy subject in Armin‘s mind. Though the mental wound of their fight is slowly healing, Annie seriously doubted their relationship will ever be the same. _Him speaking up about him like that is... something._

“He said all sorts of things from “me not being soft like this before“ to how “Bertholdt has gotten into my brain“ and that I was essentially controlled by him.“

“That‘s bullshit.“ Annie deadpaned. “Memories don‘t work that way and you know it.“

“I know, but...“

“But what?“ She pressed further unamused.

“It‘s still stuck in my head, you know. O-of course it‘s nothing compared to what he said to Mikasa, but-“

“Armin, listen. I know what he said hit you hard and your friendship with him will never be the same but you seriously need stop downplaying what he did to you AND to get over it at the same time. You know what you said is objectively false. So why?“ Annie crossed her arms, demanding an answer. “This isn‘t like you.“

Armin regarded his girlfriend with somber gaze.

“... he loved you.“

Her eyes widened.

“... what?“

“Bertholdt had feelings for you.“ Armin clarified looking down. “He never confessed, but everyone knew. I even tried to use it against him multiple times.“ He smiled sadly. “Not that it always worked.“

Annie sincerely didn‘t know what to say.

“... why are you telling me this? He‘s long dead. There‘s no point.“ She stated flatly.

“It‘s just that my feelings for you are actually pretty recent, Annie.“ The blond man admitted. “Back then we were close... by your standarts at least, but I only really considered you as a close friend.“ His eyes crinkled at the corners. “When I started talking to you, I just wanted to go to a quiet place alone. I used to go into the forest just to scream out my frustrations in my training days. I understand I was probably projecting, but I didn‘t want to burden Mikasa and, for once, I wasn‘t afraid to be judged because you were asleep. Allthough Hitch told me you weren‘t exactly always slumbering there.“ He observed Annie with a sharpened gaze. “Tell me, how much did you hear?“

“Only bits and pieces.“ She shrugged. “Though hearing you whine about the dead commander and your falling friendship with Eren was pretty annoying. Not to the extent Hitch was, she moaned about useless crap, but still. So I can‘t imagine how bad it would‘ve been to hear the full version. Could you imagine how glad I was when you finally did something about it? You‘re over all that now.“ Annie bit her lip. “Well, mostly.“

She was luckily awake when he told her what happened. When he told her that not only they took back Wall Maria and beat four intelligent titans, but also stole one of them. It was quite a bomb dropped on her. She also didn‘t expect to hear that the one they beat was Bertholt, she always regarded him as the smarter one, not to mention that the one who took on power was none other than Armin.

At first she didn‘t know what to feel. The boy she remember being so innocent now having blood on his hands. The idiot almost threw his life away to undo all their labour of those past five years. Not that she blamed him.

All this was quite an emotional twister to her.

On one hand she still felt frustrated for loosing to Levi and Mikasa, for missing her chance to see her father sooner. Angry at Reiner, Bertholdt and their warchief Zeke for being failures and undoing their hard work and sacrifices.

On another hand however, she found herself devastated upon learning Armin's fate. _Why him?_ She kept lamenting. The female shifter truly never wanted to drag him onto this mess. Their mess. _He deserved to live a long life, not have it cut by a curse like that._

_Of all people, why him?_

What Armin did was very reckless. And not just their expedition. All these years, spilling all the relevant information to an enemy who, as far as he knew, could still burst out at any moment, kill or kidnap him and escape. Of course, the man wasn‘t defenseless, thought would he really be willing to blow up the entire building just to not let her take him and escape? At least it showed his trust in her. Even after both of them betrayed each other. She really apreciated that.

“Ah, well, as I said I only felt like we could understand each other in a way I used to understand Eren but couldn‘t anymore. But after you woke up, that‘s when I started to see you in this way.“ He chuckled nervously. “Well, now that I’ve said it out loud, I think that was a natural development after all.”

“... okay...“ Annie muttered, her face suddenly reddening.

The atmosphere around her changed and that caught Armin‘s attention.

“Eh? What‘s with the silence? Why are you blushing?“ If he expected anything from her, it was a snark remark, like “See? That wasn‘t so hard“, but certainly not this.

Annie stayed quiet, slowly covering her face with her hands and the realization hit the young man.

“Don‘t tell me you had a crush on me even back then?“

If anything, this makes Annie blush even harder.

_Bingo._

“Maybe.“ She mumbled, still keeping her eyes away from him.

“... oh. I, uh...“ Armin cleared his throat. “That‘s nice.“

“Your word complexity astounds me sometimes.“

“Hah, I‘m glad it does.“ He let out a laugh. “We should have a romantic dinner to celebrate a dream come true, eh?“ He teased.

“Oh? This is a surprise. You usually don‘t take me on dates here on Paradis.“ A smirk replaced Annie‘s frown of suspicion.

“Well, I consider this a special occasion.“ Annie rolled her eyes. “I don‘t do this often because I‘m worried you know.“

“You shouldn‘t. The world treats you like a hero.“

Yeah. They were heroes alright.

Their group managed to take Eren down and together him and Mikasa managed to “bring him back“ without killing him. Though a lot of people died in the process, including a big chunk of their friends.

The alliance then had a discussion with Eren about everything. Apparently the reason he acted this way was because he saw a glimpse of the future, indicating what he needed to do. That scenery he saw did indeed happen, but it wasn't only thanks to the man‘s own choices, but also, the alliance. After all this, an opportunity for Paradisians to at least negociate a temporary peace treaty arose and they took it.

In the end Eren got spared, but still, him being alive complicates things. They didn't want to risk other countries not trusting them. So they faked his death. Stated the the alliance killed him and instructed him to live in a quiet corner of Paradis and never show his face to the public ever again. And that‘s where he lives right now. Where he will live the rest of his days. He had no choice, really. If he shows himself in most places, a war could spark out and the rumbling option isn't available anymore.

Mikasa got assigned as, someone who keeps an eye on him on all times to make sure that he doesn't wonder off or show show his face anywhere. She lives together with Eren together in a small cabin in the woods. Just like her parents did.

_She really ended up getting the longer end of the stick._

She can stay by Eren‘s side by all times like she always wanted, though Annie isn‘t sure Eren feels the same way. He just resigned himself to this fate. _It‘s a pity._ She thought. He got freedom for Paradis, his friends acheived their dreams, traveling the world and making peace for Armin and living a simple life with her remaining family for Mikasa, peace treaty is in the process. All in expense of his own complete freedom.

Sometimes they would visit them when on break. Armin would show them all the photos and souvenirs he‘s gotten from his most recent trip. Their meetups are starting to resemble their old times bit by bit too. Of course Annie knew better.

Armin is also getting back on his feet. He is now the Paradis ambassador and Annie, who is still in the process of finding herself now that she isn‘t forced to be a soldier anymore, is his bodyguard and companion. He travels and explores the world, like he dreamed, meets different people while representing his nation and delivers speeches. With his kindness and cute looks he could charm people easily too. It‘s a perfect job for him. Annie is still certain no one could look at Armin and call him a devil.

_However..._

“No.“ Armin responded with melancholy in his tone. “Not the whole world and especially not the people here.“

Yeah, their island is still divided. The Yegerists may be no more, but their propaganda worked. Some people are still angry that the alliance risked their safety for the sake of other nations, understandably so. Their distain for the warriors, however, still remained unbridled.

Though others are already seeing the benefits of not being the only nation in the world. The technological advancement in the island now is much faster than these past four years because of that.

Not to mention the rumbling already did great damage to the echosystem which wouldn‘t‘ve survived at all had it fully went through. Plenty of people lived in wild nature. It was impossible to get to them without destroying it.

Of course, many people are also still looking down on Eldians and there‘s still tension between Paradisians and the rest of the world, even with them proving that Eren‘s will wasn‘t their will and the titan threat gone, but progress is happening. Slowly but still happening.

It‘ll take time.

“Besides, your treatment here is far worse than mine, Annie. Thank you for staying in Paradis with me, even though you‘ll be treated with respect everywhere else, but I am worried for you.“ Armin added on.

Annie shrugged.

“Don't blame them. Discounting the being part of the alliance, I did kill a lot of your scouts back then.“

“So? I blew tons of innocent people up in Liberio and I can step a foot in there without being ostracised. Unlike you here.“ Armin retorted.

“Well I‘m pretty sure what I did was still worse. Besides, you were sad for your actions and took responsibility for them.“ Annie looked away.

Armin stooped his shoulders.

“I did. I saw a young boy I had crushed in our invasion of Marley. He was far enough from the explosion to survive, but was still under the rubble. In the end I didn‘t finish him off. I remember seeing his terrified and surprised face. It‘s still ingrained in my mind. Ah.“

He shook his head, like he‘s trying to shake the memory off.

“Sorry for rambling again, my point, Annie, is you did as well. Mikasa told me she saw you cry when she and captain Levi took Eren back from you. You weren‘t happy for the things you did and that means something.“

Annie shook her head mournfully. “No, Armin. I‘m sorry, but had I been successful in capturing your friend, I would not have felt anything. Not for the scouts that were nameless to me at least.“ She added remembering Mina. “And if I did, it wouldn‘t‘ve mattered because I still would‘ve done that again if it meant getting what I wanted. I shed tears because I just had Eren. I was so close to getting away, and then he was taken from me. My one chance of finally coming back home after so many years. I had what we have been trying to find for years right in my grasp and it was ripped away just like that.“ She looked in his oh so beautifully kind eyes. “On top of that, every scout I killed that day was for nothing. I may have not cared about them at that moment, but I had plenty of time to think about it in my hibernation. A good deal of nightmares came from it too.“

Armin only smiled and nodded in encouragement. _How could he still smile like that after that confession?_

“...I learned guilt and that guilt brought back the soldiers who I killed on the battlefield. All these soldiers have families, someone will miss them, and I took them away. Those thoughts still emerge in my head at random from time to time.“ Annie pinched her lips.

Armin still wasn‘t showing any anger.

“Is guilt the only reason for this?“ _Observant as always._

“Well, if I had to guess, part of the reason for the nightmares, is because I also used my fighting technique in my Titan form to kill the soldiers while they tried to flee out of desperation. But you know that already. You were already the main witness to that.“

Armin nodded, still without a word. Annie continued. “The technique goes back to my father. I was training with him since I was about five. He had no experience with mentoring, so he taught me the only way he knew...“ She smashed her fist into her palm.

“That's horrible.“ Armin widened his eyes appalled. “No matter how tough you were as a kid, it must've been frightening.“

“It... was.“

“Oh, well of course it was.“ Armin flushed. _How could he be so understanding one time and dense as a rock another?_ “That's why you're having nightmares huh... well, your life was harder than most of ours and I'm glad you broke out of it-“

“Stop it.“ Annie quickly interjected. “Don't act like you had an easy life yourself.“

Shocked, Armin shut his mouth.

“Let's see, you were relentlessly bullied and beaten by local kids which didn't stop even after you gained friends. Your parents were murdered when you were eight and you had to live in the streets for two years after your grandfather and most of the other adults you knew were killed off to reduce food shortage because your hometown was devastated by titans... by us, when you were ten. Honestly, it's impressive you managed to remain so kind after all that, even before you entered the training corps. You didn't resent me or anyone else for aiming to join MPs even though they disposed of your parents and served the selfish nobles. Most hearts grow smaller as they break you know.“

A small smile emerged from the blond‘s lips.

“Ah, I suppose so.“

“Not to mention,“ Annie carried on. “enduring the pain of burning alive and when woken up, learning that not only you ate someone and you‘re a shifter now, but that commander Erwin has died and there was a chance to revive him, but you were revived in his place, therefore having the burden of greatest commander's in your history life on your shoulders. It must've been hard. You probably beat yourself over still clinging to life back then, huh?“

Armin‘s smile fainted.

“I... can‘t deny I never thought about that.“

“So,“ Annie cleared her throat. “going back to the topic of me being selfish, I would not have cared as much for the people I have killed nor for people yet to be killed if succeeded in taking Eren back with me.“ Her gaze shifted to the bedsheets again. “Well, you know, discounting you and Hitch.“ She added softly.

Armin let out a dry laugh. “No use rescuing me had you done that. I wouldn't have forgiven you... just like you don't have to forgive me for ratting you out. It's okay. It's behind us now.“

“I know.“ Annie was still looking down. “Look, my point is, you are different from me, Armin. I didn‘t care about lives or living until pretty recently. The bigger picture never mattered. All I wanted was to return to my dad and everything I did towards this goal was worth it. But you, you blew all these people up, even when you knew you had to do it. It was for your cause and you succeeded. But you still wept for those who fell by your hand. You‘re so kind.“ She looked at him, desperation in her eyes. “And it‘s for that reason why I don‘t get why you love me.“

“I don't know, Annie, why did you spare me multiple times when you knew that killing me would be an objectively the best option. It happened too many times for it to just be a coincidence. Don‘t you think?“ He looked at her serenly.

Annie flinched at the memory of her almost stepping on Armin on accident. She was so glad for having enough consciousness back then to check the only remaining soldier's hood to check if it was Eren or not. Even she wasn't sure why she spared him back then. Though now is a differend situation.

“Marco.“ She simply stated. “Reiner wasn’t ordering me. That time I had a choice to make on my own for once and I took it.... honestly, with the other titans around I figured you'd die somehow anyway.“ She mumbled. “I just didn't want to be directly responsible for it.“

“Alright.“ Armin didn't bat an eyelash at her confession. “Was it the same in Stohess too?“

“That... well, I was following your fabrication, even though I was suspicious, I respected you and I wanted to preserve your opinion of me even though I knew you were most likely full of shit. So I went with you.“ Even with the snide remarks, she returned her soft gaze back at him. “ You know you were the first person to call me nice as well. I guess I wanted you to see me as a good person, even if it was only for a couple of minutes.“

A smile returned to Armin‘s lips once again.

“Well, my answer is still the same as all those years ago. You‘re a good person. You may not show it in a conventional way, but you shared your feelings about killing people back then with me when you had no reason to. You could've have left me thinking that you were brainwashed, or forced for the sake of keeping your people‘s name clean. Yet you bothered to explain the real situation to me, knowing that I would possibly hate you after knowing the truth. Why?“

Annie was still at the loss of words. All the while Armin‘s smile got even more soft. The glowing appreciation on his face shone brighter than the moonlight.

“Because you cared didn‘t you? Your conscience wouldn't let you, even if it meant throwing away your image. I understand that not everyone is like me who tries to care for everybody, no matter how good or bad they might be. However, how they care for the few they treasure really says a lot. Besides, you just told me you feel differend now."

Annie still hasn‘t uttered a single word but Armin was determined to break the silence.

“Don‘t get me wrong.“ He leaned in. “If our island was threatened with war we would've fought back. I don't regret betraying you, Annie. I did what I had to do.“ He firmly stated, not breaking eye contact with the enemy who he‘s come to care for. “Just regarding you and the war against Marley situation, I wish we could've tried talking first.“ He whispered leaning back.

“... it always comes back to this huh...“

_He really liked to repeat that word. A lot._

“Yeah...“ Armin suddenly looked up. “Wow, Annie, you really trust me, huh.“ He remarked with a palyful tone.

“Wha? What‘s that supposed to mean?“ The young woman was caught of guard.

Armin laughed softly. “I know I know. It‘s still unusual though.“

“Sheesh. Way to ruin the mood. I just completed my end of the deal, that‘s all.“ Annie huffed, crossing her arms. However, she couldn‘t hide the sparkle in her eyes.  
.  
The charming grin still haven‘t disappeared from Armin‘s face as well.

“You know, you probably had no one to talk about this either. So I‘m glad I helped you too.“

“Just...“ Annie gave in. “yeah, keep talking about your nightmares. I will too. We‘ll help each other. We‘re dating for fuck‘s sake, we should communicate.“ She exclaimed while clenching her fists.

“That‘s... I‘ll keep that in mind. It‘ll get better.“ Armin gladly returned her affection.

“It better.“ She snorted. “Or else I‘m throwing a glass of water on you next time you‘re having nightmares.“  
.  
“Thank you, Annie.“ Now both of their eyes were sparkling.

“You‘re welcome. Now go to sleep.“ She pushed him so hard he fell back. Still smiling.

As Armin closed his eyes and got comfortable, Annie watched him fondly, rubbing circles on his heaving chest, until eventually he fell back to peaceful sleep once again.

“Even after all this time... I‘m glad you can still see me as a good person. Thank you.“

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks [Flailingkittylover](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Flailingkittylover/pseuds/Flailingkittylover) for beta reading. I'm not a native english speaker and still new to this, so the help was greatly apreciated.


End file.
